Cause this problem's gonna last more than the weekend.

I guess I need this blog thing. I write on my own, but sometimes I just need to share it, tell everyone. LiveJournal and Facebook just aren't cutting it, sorry. I think I get things so twisted around in my head they don't ever come out right. I told Bryan I think I have anxiety problems, and that I'm a hypochondriac. Ha, pretty much. I obviously could sleep if I wanted to. I just choose to blame it on anxiousness. Today was slightly rough, I really hate going back to school after a break. It was a good day and all, but I had realized how much school brings me down. Over this break I realized the most important people to me. The people who are there for me, and have been. I'm really sorry if you feel left out or whatever, that isn't my intention. But at this point I need my real friends.

First and foremost is God.
"The Lord is my light and my salvation- whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life- of whom shall I be afraid? When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident."
-Psalm 27
That pretty much sums it up. The dependency and comfort I've always, and always will need. Honestly, who could ask for more. If you have a relationship with God I think you know what I mean, and if you don't you're not going to through a blog. hahah.

Of all people I'm going to name, I've known Bryan the shortest amount of time. But throughout the summer, and over these past four months (yes I know it seems like longer. haha) I've figured a lot of things out. I can honestly say I trust him with anything. And although he doesn't always understand my point of view, I never feel dumb for saying it. Unless I knew from the get-go it was dumb. As much as people hate Bryan's brutal honesty, it is something I really needed. I don't need liars and fake friends in my life. I'll never be emotionally stable for that. I don't really need to go into detail about how happy I am and stuff, so I won't.

I've started to learn what types of people I get along with. It all comes down to: mainly boys. Really. Take Matt Gardiner for example. I've known him for almost two years now and he's still my best friend. The only person I tell more to is Bryan. Matt is the kind of friend you spend days and days and days discussing the things no one else will talk about you with. Confused? We basically talk about Bryan and Kallsy 24/7. No one else wants to hear us go on and on and on about them. I'm really glad to have someone that is so brotherlike to me and now that we're at the school it's nonstop BFF time.

As far as female friends go, meh.
Amanda Russell is basically the girl version of Matt. She listens to me complain for hours and hours and hours. And never tells me to shut up. For that I think she is slightly stupid, but I appreciate it a lot. Another person I trust completely. She's pretty much one of the nicest people you'll ever meet. We basically clicked instantly because we're both dumb. We realize we're stupid, so this isn't mean at all. We're pretty frickin stupid. haha.

Kat Huppert is one of those people you take for granted. I hate that. I didn't realize what value good friends had until very recently. I'm glad she didn't give up on me. I won't ever give up on her. Bryan's brutal honesty has helped a lot with me straight up telling her what I think is best for her. It may suck to hear, but she doesn't ever get mad, and I know I'm doing the right thing by looking out for her. If you say one word about this girl I'll kick you in the face. I swear.

Actually, the person I've known the shortest is Kayla Lewis. We spent all summer together, mainly because of Mitch and Bryan. It was great having another girl there to complain about stupid boy stuff with. We seriously can stay up until 6 in the morning catching up. And we do. She's pretty much my life and I'm super happy she's transferring back to Des Moines. I also wanted to be her lipring for halloween. :)

And the gayest person I've ever met is probably Genya Tolmatsky. We basically hated eachother until 9th grade. I've known her longer than anyone I'm still friends with. Apparently we look a lot alike, which I'm starting to realize is a good thing. Because then I can talk to someone who knows exactly what it feels like to be insecure over certain things. Hahah. We get ourselves into stupid situations and we play badmitton like champs. She lets me sing "Hava Nagila" whenever because I'm awesome.


I guess if you're not really close to me you won't understand all of these. Probably if you're not one of them you won't. I'm not saying I don't appreciate all my other friends, honestly there are a lot of people who mean a lot to me. But there aren't many who have stood the test of time and highschool. These people mean the world to me, without them I'd be nowhere. They're all so different, some of them have never even met eachother, but what it comes down to is that they're great people. I've never had people who look out for me like they do.

Okay, I seriously am sleep deficient, so I'm going to attempt rest.
Galatians + bed + rain = hopefullysleeping haha