The mean thoughts and cheap shots, they will not weaken me.

I think I'm starting to become confident. Not cocky, or even secure, but confident. At the oddest time of my life. The time where sometimes I feel so alone and so unsure about things. I can't find anyone to hang out with 9/10. Well, besides the people I usually do. And I love those people to death, but its an odd feeling. I lost my friends, did horribly in school, and fought with my parents more than ever. But somehow I became happier and more stable (well, that's my opinion). So how does that happen? I'll tell you how: you realize what is important. I know what I want to do in life, not exactly but I've got a general idea. I have good friends with the same morals and choices as me. They don't bring me down and I always have a great time. I stopped being so naive and realized that my family may suck, but I don't have to let it bring me down too. And most importantly I've realized that everything God does is really for a reason. I knew that in the first place, but I suddenly saw it applied to my life all over the place. So I know that if I do what I'm supposed to and I am the person I should be that things will work out. I don't let things make me upset and I have trust that everything will be okay. I'm starting to be able to walk into a room of people I don't know and not have a panic attack. If someone doesn't like me from the get go then that's not a problem. I'm not just having confidence in myself, but in everything. I have confidence that I can do better in school, that people aren't always out to get me, and that I can pull myself out of any situation. I guess that is still confidence in myself, but I meant outside appearances and things. Of course the appearance thing is still the least confident, but I'm not going to pull the pity card like I would have a year ago. I'm used to myself, and anything I don't like I can't change, physically. So why not change the personality glitches and choices I make. In the end, the things that have affected me haven't been fun. But as Amanda told me "if all this crap hadn't been going on you wouldn't be who you are today." So with that, I say boo and yah and head off to bed to get some sleep before another pointless week of school. (I still think school would be 10x funner if Jude Law was my teacher. omgggg)