A wedding and therapy session. Yikes. Talk about an emotional week. I went to Pella with Kayla and we went to THE cutest wedding ever. It was a friend of hers from high school, and I swear, although I didn't know anyone there I wanted to cry. Weddings are so cute. I love seeing people in love, but I couldn't help but think about divorce. That sounds so bad, and I'm not saying anything about the people in this particular wedding. It reminds me of that Paramore line: "I've seen love die, way too many times, when it deserved to be alive". True that Haley Williams. I bet my parents were happy at their wedding. So what happened then? What happened to "love never fails"? It is a scary and controversial topic. I'm taking a risk here, but I'm not sure that anyone in high school has the mental capacity to know what "love" is. I just don't see how it is possible. That is just my opinion, but nothing has changed my mind. But I guess I can't talk about what I'm unexperienced in. Someone prove me wrong, and show me a high school relationship that I can't argue against being love. I know I have NO right to say who loves who and stuff, but when signs are there, I'll see em and call em.
I went in for my last medicine check yesterday. I decided that therapy and medicine are not working for me, and I need to figure my life out myself. I don't want to be on 300mg of an anti-depressant. Age 17 shouldn't hold so many struggles. My doctor said that he is concerned that I show so many apathetic signs. I'm sorry, but there are things I just don't care about. He also said that my emotional state is very "fragile and easy to break". Kaboom. Atomic bomb right there. That is the last thing I'd ever like to hear about myself. I'd rather be called a whore or something. But what Dr. said is too true, and scares me. I want to be a strong person. I want to not have so many ups and downs. But no one wants to be called fragile. In my mind he might as well be calling me so many worse things.
So yeah, it was an emotional few days.
Good days, but emotional.
Ps: Pressure by Paramore is one of my all time favorite songs.
