Never back down, never give in.

It's time to stand your ground. The time is now. Don't be another victim. Take back what's yours. Stay true to your convictions.

Yeah thanks Throwdown.

I turned seventeen on Tuesday. My mom made some lame joke about how old I looked. I didn't laugh. Nothing is going to change overnight just because I'm older. I can honestly say that was the most pathetic day of my life. I decided that I needed pity and attention. I didn't tell anyone about my birthday. Nobody remembered. I have no right to be mad about that. I didn't tell anyone, I tried to completely avoid the topic. My friends came over and made my birthday worth it. I am the lamest person ever. Who in their right mind does that? No one. Good thing I'm never in my right mind. I realized that some of the best memories I have are with people who don't really mean that much to me. People you'd consider aquaintances maybe.

I wonder why I let people screw me over so much. Why I let people mess with my head and my emotions and make me absolutely miserable because they can't make up their mind. Why when I finally figure out what I want, or don't want, I can't stick with it. Why I rarely confront people. I mean, it would probably be helping them. You know, character development and stuff. But I just don't want to be mean. Which is the weird thing. Because I can be so malicious and rude sometimes. So why not stick with one or the other. I mean obviously I'd rather be nice all the time, but I have my bitterness. I also wonder why I screw people over so much. Why I mess things up with friendships for no reason. Friends are in and out of my life so quickly it seems. I have steady friends now, but I just get scared I'll screw things up with them too. I seem to not have the ability to not screw up any sort of relationship I have. Friends, boys, family. I just need to stop. I need to breathe and figure it out. I need consistancy and appreciation. Although I do not always deserve appreciation. It happens you know?

Prom is in a couple weeks.
Awsome. Really frickin awesome. Except not at all.