awake! awake in the company of men given something to say

By the time you reach age sixteen, you most likely know anxiety. You can feel it, and it affects you. Maybe not often, maybe only once. At age sixteen I'm becoming a self-diagnosing hypochondriac. I have convinced myself that when I stress or worry, my anxiety kicks in. Maybe it does. But there has to be some underlying problem that triggers it. Here's the thing, I have zero to very minimal subconsciousness. I understand why I do things, and why other people do things. It kills me. I understand my anxiety is likely caused by needing attention, and by insecurity problems. It gets so bad that I have to go take a five minute break in the cold? Why? I am too passive aggressive for my own good. When I do things like that, I have two motives: to clear my head, and to get attention. Don't fall for it. Actually do. haaaaah. I don't like being that stupid about things, and I wish I could get it figured out. Maybe if I truly put my mind to believing that I'm fine I will be. If I can will my brain into problems, can I will them out?

I'm going to make a big stretch and say this is related to anxiety, which it kind of is.




To Write Love On Her Arms
This foundation is doing an amazing job at reaching out to the people who need help for this the most. They help with finding help for cutting and self mutilation. We all know "emo" kids are stereotyped as cutters, so why not create an organization that speaks directly to them. With Switchfoot, Bradley Hathaway, The Rocket Summer, Paramore, Underoath, and many others behind them and sporting gear, their word is spreading. Yes, it is a Christian organization, which is a big bonus for me, but they help anyone. They have "stop the bleeding" tours and profits from merch goes directly to helping kids. I don't usually get behind a foundation like I have with TWLOHA, but it's hard not to for me. Why do my best friends cut themselves? I don't have an answer for that, but I can help them. I can help others in the same situation as me, and as my friends. These are good people helping in the best way they know how. Through MySpace: emo kid hangout, through music: emo kid obsession, merch: emo kid novelty. Why not. It seems to be working pretty well. I'm behind them 100%. There's no reason you shouldn't either.